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What is an orgasm?

When a man gets an orgasm (comes), he has an ejaculation. A whitish fluid comes out of his penis. His penis is hard and the muscles in his penis contract. When a man comes, he usually stops thrusting. Because thrusting is then too sensitive, too intense. The head of the penis, in particular, is very sensitive after an orgasm. So touching it at that moment can hurt.

Getting aroused

You can come by rubbing your penis up and down. First, it will get hard (an erection). The spongy tissues in your penis fill up with blood. This is what makes it stand up. Your penis usually gets bigger too. Other things happen to your body when you are aroused. Your nipples get stiff, your heart beats faster, your pupils get larger, your breathing speeds up, you move faster and some men gasp or moan with pleasure.

Use your sensitive spots

Having your sensitive spots touched can turn you on. Certain places give you an extra special feeling when touched. For men that is the penis and balls, especially the head of the penis. But your neck, arms, breasts and bottom are sensitive too. Would you like to know where your sensitive spots are, or your partner’s ones?

Another orgasm?

A man can't come again straight after having an orgasm. A woman can do that. Around 10 to 15 seconds after an orgasm, her clitoris is back to normal. Men need a recovery period. That varies from man to man. Recovering can take a few minutes or up to a few hours.

Too soon?

Sometimes a man comes too soon. That can be a problem.

Tips for delaying the orgasm

  • Stop moving or move slower.
  • Look for a position where you don't come so quickly.
  • Wrap your thumb and index finger round your scrotum. Pull down gently when you're about to have an orgasm.
  • Some condoms have a special lubricant designed to delay orgasm (Performa condoms by Durex).

Coming together

Did you both come at the same time? Count yourselves lucky! Usually it's not that easy to have an orgasm together. Don't make it compulsory. If it happens that's fine, but coming one after the other is exciting too. Then you can focus more on your partner and enjoy seeing his or her orgasm.