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The boundaries check

Did this overstep your boundaries?
Are you wondering whether what happened was all right? Do the check below.

Which statement matches what happened? Choose either left or right

I feel like having sex was my choice


I feel like having sex wasn’t my choice

Saying no didn’t make things difficult


Saying no made things difficult

My partner and I had an equal say in what happened


My partner had more say than I did in what happened

I feel like I was old enough for what happened


I feel like I was too young for what happened

I feel like it happened in a good place or environment


I don't think it was appropriate to have sex in that place or environment

I feel happy with what happened


I feel sad and undervalued by what happened

6 answers in this column?


1 or more answers in this column?
Not OK!

  • Were all your 6 statements on the left hand side?
    Then everything’s fine.

  • Was one or more of your statements on the right hand side?
    Then you have to make sure the situation changes, because it’s not good for you. This is sex that makes you feel sad and undervalued, or that you’re just not ready for. And that’s a pity.

Sex is much better if: 6 tips

  1. You both want it.
  2. Nobody is coerced.
  3. It’s on an equal footing.
  4. It’s appropriate for your age.
  5. It’s in an appropriate setting.
  6. It doesn’t make you feel sad or undervalued.