In love with a transgender person
Are you in love with someone who is transgender? That may take some getting used to. The person you’ve fallen in love with looks different on the outside to what he or she feels inside. Or perhaps parts of their body are not what you would expect. It can be very confusing for you! But you’re not the only one.
9 tips
- Take your partner seriously. Understand that your partner didn't get to this point without a reason. It won't just go away.
- Seek information. Seek information about transgender, gender dysphoria or gender incongruence so you can understand what it's about.
- Talk to each other. Dare to ask questions. If you’re not sure your partner will answer your questions, say in advance that you understand that.
- Talk to friends. Don't just talk to each other, talk to someone else who you trust. That makes it easier to find out what you feel yourself.
- Don't keep it a secret. Maybe your partner would prefer to keep it a secret, but it's too big a secret to carry around on your own. Decide together who does and doesn't need to know.
- Dare to be confused. It's understandable that you're confused and it's perfectly OK. After a while, you’ll probably feel less confused anyway, as you get to know each other better.
- Dare to break up. Do you find it too complicated in the end, or don’t you like the other person as much as you thought? That's OK. Dare to break up, if necessary.
- Be respectful. Whatever you do, always be respectful towards the other person! Even when you're unsure yourself, or afraid that your friends will think it's weird.
- Look for others. Are you going steady and you want to get in touch with other young people who are in a relationship with someone who is transgender? Or would you like to talk to a care worker about it? You can!
What is transgender?
Do you feel like a woman, but were born a boy? Or were born a girl but feel like a man? This is called transgender, gender dysphoria or gender incongruence.
Are you transgender?
How do you know if you’re transgender? For some people it’s obvious, but it’s not so simple for others. How do you find out what can you expect?
Who are you attracted to?
Transgender? Who are you attracted to? Like anyone else, you could be gay, lesbian, bi or straight. Do you fit into one category? Being yourself is crucial!
In love and dating
Falling in love is great! But being in love can also be very stressful, certainly when you have transgender feelings. Does your partner know about you?
Your body and sex
How do you enjoy sex as a transgender? There may be more ways than you think! We got these tips from other transgender people. What works for you?
Sex and hormones
When you start taking hormones, all kinds of things change in your body. Often your sexual feelings change as well. Read here on Sense what you can expect.
Sex after your operation
Having genital surgery changes the way you have sex. And often how you experience sex. How does this work exactly? Read about what changes here.
Seeking help
Talking is a relief. You can do that with someone you know or with a care worker. Or you could ask questions anonymously on the internet. Read where to go.