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Flirting online

hartje op een toetsenbord

Have you met someone online? Exciting! How do you flirt online? And how do you keep it fun and stay safe? Read some tips here.

Flirting online for men, especially straight men

  • Show interest. Don't ask, “What colour panties are you wearing?” Have a proper conversation, as you would do face to face.
  • Be yourself. Don’t put on an act or try to be cooler than you really are.
  • Crack some jokes.
  • Don't use sexually charged language, even if it's meant to be a joke.
  • Give compliments but don’t get slimy.
  • Ask a lot of questions and tell them a lot about yourself.
  • Make the other person feel special. Don't send the same flirty messages to different women.

Flirting online for women

  • Show you’re interested, perhaps by asking questions.
  • Talk about yourself, but don’t overdo it.
  • Give compliments but don't overdo it.
  • Be yourself. Don't pretend to be prettier or different to what you actually are.
  • Make the other person feel special. Don't send the same flirty messages to different men.
  • If you don't want to do certain things, then just don't do them. Don't do things just to please the other person, set your boundaries.
  • Make it a fun conversation. If you're chatting with a man, remember that most men are not great talkers. Find a subject that you’re both interested in.
  • Don't fish for compliments all the time.

This is how to keep it safe

Flirting and dating online can be fun and exciting, but there are risks. There are, for example, child molesters operating online: groomers. They pretend to be someone around your age, whereas you are actually chatting to an adult man.

If you want online flirting and dating to be carefree, pay attention to the following:

  • Don't become Facebook friends with people you don't know.
  • Make sure you don’t allow strangers to see your Facebook profile and photos. You can customise this in the privacy settings.
  • Never give your address or telephone number before you are absolutely sure someone is who he/she claims to be.
  • If you think someone is acting suspiciously online, and you think they might be a groomer or a faker, break off contact with them and talk to someone you trust.

Are you planning to try online dating? These are tips to keep you safe:

  • Don't promise anyone anything before you meet them face to face. Don't agree in advance that you're going to kiss.
  • Make sure that someone who knows you well, for instance your parents or your best friend, knows that you have made an online date and where you've arranged to meet up.
  • Take your mobile phone and your charger with you. That way you can text or call your friends or parents if the date goes wrong.
  • Arrange to meet in a public place where there are lots of people.
  • Arrange to have someone call you during the date. If it's not going the way you'd like, you can let yourself be called away. Emergency, sorry!