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Prepare yourself

Many people feel nervous the first time. You discover sex bit-by-bit. Find out what you like doing and talk about it with your partner. Prepare yourself with these 7 tips:

Tips for the first time

  1. Know your own body
    The more you're in touch with your own body, the more you can have good sex. How do you get to know your own body? By masturbating! Playing with yourself is not only enjoyable, but is also a good way of preparing for sex with a partner.
  2. Take it to the next level
    Kissing is the first step. Carry on after that step-by-step. You touch and caress each other. With your clothes on first, then with them off. When you're both ready for it try fingering, masturbating, oral sex or penetrative sex. You will get to know each other’s bodies and find out what you both like.
  3. Talk about sex
    Talking about sex is exciting, and sexy too. Tell each other what you do and don't want to do. And ask your partner what they do and don't like. Talk about it beforehand, but also while making love. That way your partner won't have to guess what you want.
  4. Find out what is safe
    Find out how safe sex works. Talk to your parents and your doctor about which contraceptive is suitable for you: the pill, the coil (IUD or IUS), or something else? Read about how to use condoms correctly. Get some in advance and practise with them.
  5. Do it with someone you trust
    You lay yourself bare when you have sex, literally and symbolically. That's exactly what makes sex great: you get very close to each other, but you feel exposed as well. Do it with someone you trust completely. Then it's fine to reveal so much of yourself.
  6. There's no such thing as perfect
    The first time is not usually the best time. Sex gets better when you’ve done it several times, and know each other better. Anyway, perfect sex only exists in films. So don't expect it to be perfect. Just enjoy discovering what you both like doing.
  7. Uncertainty is part of it
    It's perfectly normal to be unsure of yourself the first time. You're doing something new, and don't know how it's all going to go. There is no user manual for sex! Don't worry. It's okay to make mistakes, and to laugh about them.