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What is too soon?

Coming too soon is: coming within 1 minute of having penetrative sex or coming as soon as the penis is touched. A lot of men think they’ve come too soon if it’s within 3 minutes. That is not true. Most men come within 3 minutes of having penetrative sex. When you get older, it can take a bit longer.

Tips for delaying orgasm

  • Stop moving or move slower.
  • Find a position where you don't come so quickly.
  • Wrap your thumb and index finger round your scrotum. Pull down gently when you're about to have an orgasm.
  • Try out condoms with a special lubricant designed to delay orgasm (Performa condoms by Durex).

'No return'

Do you recognise that moment when you're about to come, and you can't hold it back any longer? That's called the moment of no return. This moment is 2 to 3 seconds before your orgasm. If you don't want to come too quickly, you have to make sure you stop before you get there. This probably won’t work the first time you try it. You have to practise.

Exercise: Stop-start method

Masturbate. Stop just before you come. Wait until the arousal has subsided. Then carry on masturbating. When you've repeated this a few times, you can have your orgasm. Do this first without a lubricant and then with one. After that you can try it out while you’re having penetrative sex.

Exercise: The squeeze technique

Masturbate until you're almost coming. Squeeze firmly with your thumb and fingers directly beneath the head of your penis. You may have to search to find out exactly where to squeeze. The feeling that you're about to come disappears. Then you carry on. After you've repeated this a few times, you can have your orgasm. Once you understand how it works, you can try this out with your partner.

Why do I come so quickly?

  • You’re highly aroused.
  • You don't yet know how to delay it for a while.
  • You're not relaxed when making love.
  • You're so scared of coming too soon, that it's exactly what happens!

Carry on!

Coming too soon doesn't mean you have to stop having sex. Carry on pleasuring your partner. Who knows, you may come again. Don't be ashamed to talk about it with your partner. Find out together what works for you.

Male orgasm

Male orgasm

A man who is aroused can have an orgasm. Coming is another word for orgasm.

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